Chinese Fortunes Do Not Equal Causation


I find fortune cookies to at least be entertaining, if nothing else. I cracked this one open and had to chuckle. I’ve been laid off my primary job for the past two weeks and quit my second job over a month ago. It’s not exactly the best time in my life to be without income, as I’m still recovering from the other times I was unemployed in the past year and was never able to catch up. But at this point, I’ve made friends with the monkey on my back.

I got this fortune and felt that little spark of hope well up in my heart. Of course these things don’t actually mean anything, right? But still, I couldn’t help but smile. I can take a chance because a random, cheap piece of paper in a bland but sugary cookie told me I can! Something lucky will happen to ME. Don’t worry! I’ll be able to pay the rent in a few days because I believe in this stupid fortune cookie.

I may not have any real connection to the little Chinese woman thousands of miles away who makes up these fortunes for $4 an hour, but I love the illusion that I am.

I’m a fairly positive and optimistic person though. When the going gets tough, I get tougher. I usually complain a lot first, or do something irrationally stupid to even out my feelings, but I generally bounce back. I guess. I don’t know how. A little bit of ignorance toward the consequences and a whole lot of God.

About 3 hours after my irrelevant but uplifting fortune cookie, I got a call from one of my top employer choices. They wanted me for an interview on Monday! I went from being totally excited and in awe to thinking “okay, don’t screw this up, don’t screw this up!”.

Progress! Progress! There is a light at the end of this dark, hell hole of a tunnel! And until I get there, they can cut off my phone, send me to all the collection agencies, threaten to evict me. WHOCARES. They can’t take my hope. It’s the undying spirit of mankind’s unflappable nature. It’s what dreams are made of. It’s where the weak become strong.

It’s where I’m looking to turn the corner, as they say. So thank you, meaningless Chinese fortune cookie. You gave me a bit of hope, and then drove home my excitement when I got that phone call.

However, maybe my next coincidental cookie can say something about me winning a million dollars.

Published by Jessica

Writer, YouTuber, streamer, gamer, yogi, self-improver--still trying to figure it all out

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