My toxic trait is I can’t say no to Shop Pay’s installment plans—payment plans that split the cost for an item into 4 equal payments every two weeks.
I’ve always been someone who doesn’t like to say no to myself. I don’t just want necessities; I want comfort items. Some might see these purchases as frivolous or unnecessary, but buying an exact replica of the now-discontinued style of water bottle on eBay that I love is something I definitely need.
However, in the midst of a flurry of delivered Amazon packages, I realized my dissatisfaction one day. It hit me like a freight train. Am I even happy with this stuff? How come my reaction when I get a package is to almost immediately think of the next item on my list that I need?
I decided that a good journaling session on the topic would help stimulate my gratitude and find contentment. While I was at it, I created some affirmations that personally resonated with me regarding this topic.
Journal Prompts
Use the journal prompts when you want to feel more grateful for what you have. No journal needed though—if desired, you can use these questions to simply reflect on the joys and practicalities that your material possessions have brought you.
- What have you purchased recently?
- What are some of your all-time favorite purchases?
- What are you grateful for regarding one of these items? (or multiple items)
- How has this item made your life better? (or multiple items)
- Do you remember the joy as you anticipated its arrival?
- What made you decide to buy it?
- What is this item uniquely good at? Is it practical? Is it entertaining? For pleasure? For self-care?
- If your material item could talk (think Beauty and the Beast), what would it say to you? What would you say to it?
Affirmations for appreciating your material possessions
-I appreciate the things I have.
-I’m a grateful person.
-I’m grateful [item] is in my life. It has served me well by [doing X].
-My life is improved because of [item].
-I appreciate the joy it’s given me .
-Thank you for your service, [item].
-I have enough.
-I have what I need and what I want.
For an even deeper dive, I researched some topics related to consumption culture and the need-to-have-it-now effect.
Dopamine and buying things
Every time I make a purchase I deem as good, I’m rewarding myself for that find. Whether I got the item on sale, met a need with this purchase, found the item to be better quality than expected, or it arrived even quicker than I anticipated, the dopaminergic pathways in my brain let me know I did well by releasing dopamine. I feel warm and fuzzy because of the unexpected reward, which in turn motivates me to try to repeat the behavior. I had such a successful run this time, maybe I should look our for more opportunities!
How come I don’t get the warm fuzzies when I use my clothes steamer? Turns out, it’s not that I don’t appreciate it. It’s just that the excitement and high of buying an item releases more dopamine—and warm, fuzzy feelings—than actually having the item. Anticipation and newness create more dopamine than steaming clothes does.
Turns out, psychologically, there are quite a few reasons that I get the warm fuzzies when online shopping. From the mental stimulation of perusing all the store’s offerings, to the heightened excitement that comes from anticipation (as mentioned above), to the bright, inviting visuals, shopping is an incredibly appealing and mood-boosting process.
Anti-Consumerism
Don’t mind me. I’m over here feeling attacked by the definition of anti-consumerism
This topic is a whole can of worms that I don’t feel prepared to dive into fully. However, the gist of it is anti-consumerism is opposed to consumption from a political and economic standpoint. It directly opposes capitalism because of its impact on society, particularly the poor and working class, as well as negatively affecting the environment, fostering an insidious marketing industry, and creating discontent in those who feel they need to keep up with the Jones’.
Something that speaks to me about anti-consumerism is how it calls out compulsive shopping and over-consumption as being often rooted in the desire to be seen as someone with status, someone that advertising tells us is cool, sexy, and powerful. This may not be at the forefront of my mind when I buy something, but I can’t deny that it gives me a comfort and autonomy that I value strongly. It changes the way I see myself, and I imagine subconsciously, I know it’ll change the way I’m perceived by the world.
I want to challenge this perspective though because, instead of making me feel happy and secure, I tend to become ungrateful and insecure when I buy a lot of new things.
Minimalism
An intriguing concept is that of minimalism, which encourages one to live with only the things they absolutely need. Sounds like a nightmare to me. Except that’s not entirely what minimalism is about. It means getting rid of things you don’t need, yes, but it’s also about keeping things that adds value to your life.
The main focus of minimalism is decluttering. The idea is that decluttering your physical space will also free up mental space, since clutter has been shown to correlate to high stress levels. Decluttering is also a practice that brings us back to one of minimalism’s core tenets: intentionality. Minimalists want to challenge consumerism and the why behind purchases. Do I really need this item? What purpose will it serve? Will this help me live my most intentional life?
My takeaway is to think more mindfully about what creates joy in my life, and to remove things that no longer do that. I want to also start thinking twice before I hit “Buy Now”.
Thanks for coming on this journey with me! I’m glad my conviction about being grateful led me down a path of creation, exploration, and learning. I hope you, too, can appreciate the stuff you have in your home. And if you don’t—I hope you’re able to find a way to donate it, sell it, or get rid of it!
What are you grateful for?
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